He turned towards us and motioned out the words “you’re next”. At that moment I fell sick to my stomach, my legs got weak and my body began to tremble. I saw my entire life play slowly in my mind like an old movie. Every significant and insignificant memory was lined up so perfectly like the notes to a magnificent symphony. I was taken back to the night when Rodger and I first met, our first conversation, our first argument and our last conversation. The fear I felt suddenly faded all I felt was a great sense of gratitude and greater weight of pain and regret.